Proper Etiquette For Wedding Season

Wedding season is quickly approaching! I wanted to pass along some words of wisdom on proper etiquette while attending a wedding. Here are five things to keep in mind (and follow) as a guest:  

1. Répondez S'il Vous Plaît

No one understands the importance of an RSVP until they have planned a wedding. I used to never return the little card tucked into each wedding invitation. But once you've experienced how frustrating and disorganized it can be, you will  make sure to get back to the bride. If you haven't had the pleasure (sense my sarcasm?) of planning a wedding, please send back the card...and on time! It takes one minute.

Tip: With the technology we have today, there is absolutely no excuse you cannot find two seconds to contact the bride (not the groom because he will forget to tell the bride, haha!). Email, Facebook, call, text,  something!

2. Stop Wearing White

Times have changed a bit when it comes to wearing white to a wedding. It used to be considered rude to show up in a white dress – to avoid 'upstaging' the bride. Recently, wearing a white dress –that doesn't necessarily emulate a wedding gown– is considered acceptable (that means no lace or beading!).

While it may be a new trend that white is acceptable at a wedding, your bride may still be old-school. Take me for example. I was offended by the women who showed up to my wedding in white. My word of advice: it's her wedding! Let her be the only one wearing white. You have hundreds of other colors to choose from.

Tip: If you absolutely feel the need to wear white, ask yourself : "could I wear this dress to my own wedding rehearsal?" If the answer is 'yes',  you should pick a different dress.

3. "Best Wishes" to the Bride

With all the engagement and wedding announcements on social media, I am appalled by the overwhelming amount of people that were never taught this. Congratulations go to the man and well wishes to the bride-to-be/bride. Apparently, the background to this is the idea that the man is considered the 'lucky one' so he should be congratulated for pulling the girl. Haha strange, right?

4. No One Wants Your Kids at Their Wedding

It's a rarity that your children are invited to the wedding. A wedding is  a celebratory time–with usually a lot of alcohol–and not an ideal spot for the kiddos. It's quite annoying when kids are screaming during the ceremony (ruining the couple's wedding video) and running around at the reception.  Not to mention, you're costing the happy couple $20+ for each child to eat chicken fingers.

Tip: Unless your invitation is addressed to the "_____ Family,"  your entire family is not invited. Take a date night and leave the kids with someone. 

5. Stick to Your Word

Depending which state the wedding is in, the bride and groom are shelling out a minimum of $50/plate. If you and your guest, for whatever reason, decide not to go, you've just cost the couple $100.

A lot of couples have a budget. They decided to invite you over someone else. When you don't show up after saying you would, it's rude.

Tip: If you don't make the reception, consider sending a check or gift equal to what you cost them. It's obviously not required, but it will 'make-up' for your faux pas.

5 Ways to a Fresh Start in 2016

1. Place Your Focus On Other Things

A lot of issues (anxious feelings, depressive state, etc.) arise because we're focusing too much on ourselves. We can get into this 'woe is me' state of mind, which isn't healthy.

Volunteer: Volunteering is an amazing way to place focus on more important issues happening around us. Children's hospitals, homeless shelters, and humane societies prove to be the best!

Exercise: Getting in shape is a great thing to focus on, as well. Not only will your endorphin levels be at an all-time high, you'll be able to concentrate on something other than your problems.

2. Overcoming Anxiety and Low Self-Esteem

Calling all introverts! Do you get easily embarrassed or constantly worry about what others think of you? Edward T. Welch writes a very convicting book, "When People Are Big and God is Small," about the background and reasoning for our culture-adapted 'fear of people.'

Even if you don't believe in God, this book can be quite helpful. I've been struggling for the past two years with doubt, so I went into this book with an agnostic mindset. I encourage anyone who is struggling with anxiety to read this book.

 3. New Year, New Situation

Although we all have areas to work on within ourselves, many hardships unfold because we constantly put ourselves in the same situation over and over again. Stop complaining and make a change in your surroundings! You'll be surprised with the impact it will have on your life.

Relationships: I never thought I would have to break up with so many people in my twenties. No, not in romantic relationships -- friendships! It's a known fact that people change, but it never occurred to me how far apart I would grow from certain friends in my life. It's a learned trait to accept that people have different goals and motivations in life. There's no need to continually deal with issues brought on by someone moving in the opposite direction as you.

Couples:  Stop focusing on what is wrong with your partner and what they need to change. Take responsibility for the issues you need to work on. Trust me, nothing can be harder, but it can decrease the amount of fights and create a little more harmony in your relationship.

Finances: Living paycheck to paycheck is tough and can cause a lot of discontent and stress, especially following the holidays. Begin to differentiate your spending between wants and needs. U.S. News put out a great article on how to cut back each month. The best, and fastest, ways include, "ditching cable, give up a vice, and getting creative with your commute."

4. Poor Body Image

Our insecurities can get the best of us -- especially as WAGS -- in a world where every woman we meet is gorgeous (eye roll)! We tend to compare ourselves and downgrade the amazing women we are.

After overcoming an eating disorder early in life, Kjerstin Gruys catches herself feeling body-conscious again while wedding dress shopping. "Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall" is a funny look at a woman's journey to a healthy body image.

5. New Year's Revelation

Are you 0-10 with keeping your New Year's Resolutions?  The problem may not be your will power. The issue may be the extent of discontent towards your present state.

Take the most popular issue with women: weight. The reason you may be avoiding the gym or failing to resist the soda and fried food is because you're not that unhappy with your weight. If you were, you'd do something about it.

Make a list of the things you want to change about yourself but review it in light of importance. Your weight may end up at the bottom of the list if you realize your habitual tardiness is affecting your career and relationships. Or that your anger is affecting your family. That may be something you need to change as opposed to something you think you want.

Be patient with yourself during areas of growth. We all fail. Change is hard. But when have you ever made it through a trial and regretted the outcome? Good luck and enjoy your fresh start!