5 Ways to Stay Sane During Training Camp

By: Diana Holmes

A drop of sweat trickles down a knit brow to the tip of the nose and slowly drops on the grass between a pair of shoes. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Huge, deep breaths to regain any sort of breath composure...That's me running after my son in the month of August because I'm out of shape. And you thought I was doing a clever, lyrical depiction of what my husband goes through at training camp, haha.

Training camp is one of the most physically and mentally exhausting parts of football season--for both player and family. So I decided to put a list together of things to do during this next month.

• Work Out! Stay sane and get those endorphins pumping with a nice workout. This one is tough for a lot of the moms out there because of the whole 'no babysitter' thing but even going for a run with the stroller can change your whole mentality. I usually go running when I'm having a bad day and it helps to clear my busy mind. In the famous words of Elle Woods, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't. " So there's that.
• Build Friendships. Admit it or not, we all morph into homebodies during the season. It seems like plans always get made and canceled because we don't get much time with our guys during season, so we try and capitalize on any we can get. Take training camp as an opportunity to build your friendships or make new ones. Dinner, wine tasting, play-dates--whatever!
• Work Towards A Goal. Set a goal for yourself to achieve. Plan to run a race at the end of the month, join a book club, or declutter your house. The options are really quite endless. You'll keep busy while working towards something that will empower your self-confidence.
• Support, Support, Support!I always get an attitude during camp because it's always frustrating. Andre is exhausted and never has much time to talk. If you're in the same state, you maybe see each other once a week--not to mention all the added stress they experience. It takes a toll on the relationship so this one is the hardest for me. Send care packages, inspirational quotes, Bible verses--anything helps.

Our significant others and their teammates will spend the next four weeks improving their skills and pushing themselves to better their craft. Why shouldn't we do the same?

Camaraderie over Cattiness

So, let me start off by saying I’m new to this world. Before I started dating my boyfriend, the world of WAGS and football seemed deeply mysterious and cloak-and-dagger. My perception was based off of what I read and saw, although I took this with a grain of salt, because making TV for a living let me know that situations are often glamorized and edited for drama. Yet and still, the stereotype is/was that WAGs are catty beauty queens who couldn’t care about anything beyond themselves, and needless to say, I didn’t want any parts of it. Long story short, after a beautiful friendship, then courtship, my boyfriend won me over with his intelligence, kind heart, and love of fishing, hiking, and hunting, oh, and did I mention he’s fine? But I digress, lol. The closer it drew to the season, the more activities I participated in with the team. I met some wonderfully talented, kind-hearted women at galas and dinners who welcomed me with open arms and vowed to show me the WAGS ropes. They fit no preconceived notion that I had. Their openness immediately shocked and warmed this cynical journalist's heart so I let my guard down. One particular woman was quick to show me the ropes, even though she’d just become a WAG herself. She picked me up from the airport when I flew in while B was practicing, I rode with her to camp, talked to her about the season, even let her in about my family- the way I was raised and how I felt about losing my mother a year ago. I trusted her. Stood up for her, and shared one of the most intimate parts of my life with her — my man. Slowly but surely she started talking to me and telling me the "business" of other WAG women that I barely knew. And then, through a series of unfortunate events, I found out that she’d been gossiping and talking about me. I should have known, my mama always said "if a dog will bring a bone, he’ll (or she’ll) carry it." She took my candidness for weakness, spread lies about me, including me being a gold digger (although I came to my relationship with money, a flourishing career, and everything in my name.) She even talked about my curves, my upbringing (my parents had been married 43 years before my mama died so somehow this made me “spoiled”), called me “Insta Thotty” because of the amount of followers I have-even with a feed that's devoid of risqué photos. She basically turned everything I told her into a falsehood or a reason she thought, that I thought I was better. Yes, I could have brushed it off of my shoulders as jealousy — let it go. I didn’t let on that I knew at first. I just sat back and waited for her to do it again. Screenshots from conversations she’d had about me confirmed my suspicions. Mind you - six months ago, I didn’t know this woman. I still don’t really know her but, through her lies and cattiness, her character was unfortunately revealed to me.

Credit: foxessa-foxhome.blogspot.com

There are three things that don’t fly with me. Don’t talk about my God, my family (which includes my close friends) or my man. When lies got back to him from her mouth, I knew her drama had gone too far. How dare she? This isn’t Love & Hip Hop, this is real life. Drama during the season is a "no no" and during that period in time, we hadn’t even had our first home game. I let her know to keep our names out of her mouth and keep her drama and pathology to herself. I can bare the brunt of gossip — but to bring it to my doorstep? No. Why am I writing this proverbial dear John letter you ask? It’s because I thought of this: The world of professional sports goes beyond the field and the court. The support, love, and care we give our men — how happy and comfortable we make them is intrinsically tied to their success. But in that same vein, the support we give each other-woman to woman is so important as well. We share the same worries, the same fears, the same highs and the same excitement. As WAGS we understand the extra responsibilities that come along with dating our men, the stewardship, the service. We understand each other when it comes to this NFL world — best. We should be there for each other and we should be above the cattiness. We should seek to edify and uplift each other, support each other in person and in Christ. The world is judgmental enough towards women without adding the white noise of gossip to each other’s lives. I pulled this young lady up and I’ve forgiven her in my heart already because that’s what a Christian does. No need for negativity. If anything, I feel bad for her because whatever or whoever you believe in whether it be reciprocity or karma — they’re both real. When you aren’t supportive of one woman simply because you have unfounded hatred and immaturity in your heart, who will want to be around you and in turn support you? No one wants that negativity and hatred in their wheelhouse.

The season is officially here ladies! Let’s make an extra effort to support each other, to add happiness and positivity to one another's lives. Let’s all be the antithesis of the woman in this post. We all fall short but let’s stand up for camaraderie instead of cattiness.

The Power of Community: Why Being A Mean Girl is SO Last Year

So, I am not going to lie, it's 5:39pm and my deadline is 7pm TODAY and clearly I have been putting this one off because... well...camp. I usually plan ahead what I am going to write about because you know, after all- special people such as you are taking time out of your busy life to read what I have to say so I at least owe you that to plan what I am going to share.  But, today again (because we aren't lying to one another) I had no idea what I was going to write about until I opened up my blank document and the thoughts started to flow.  Granted, two hours and twenty minutes before kickoff of preseason game #2 and an hour before my house was filled with all of the lovely ladies that I am lucky enough to do this crazy world of football with.  And that is when it hit me; I am going to write about the power of community and why it is so last year to be mean, judgmental, and quite frankly appear “too good” for the other women that are living this NFL life WITH us.

Ok, I am going to put this out there: there is hands down NOTHING more intimidating than the first day you roll up to your significant others training camp and look around at all of the insanely gorgeous women. If you are anything like me; my first day coming to Rico’s camp three years ago, I truly started to wonder how the heck I was going to make friends, let alone fit in. There are so many stereotypes of what a “WAG” is supposed to be; how we are supposed to act, dress, look, etc and prior to getting to know anyone- I believed what I had heard.  I believed that everyone would be stuck up, I believed that everyone would have more money than they knew what to do with it, I believed that this industry could quite frankly have the potential to change me for the worse and I was scared.

Obviously, I was SO wrong. I have met some of the most amazing women and I truly don't know where I would be in this crazy world without them. Rico and I have been fortunate enough to be with the Falcons for three years so I would say that I now am one of the women who could potentially be intimidating to someone new to the game.  Having said that, I promised myself three years ago that if we were lucky enough to be here for a length of time, I would do my absolute best to make others feel welcome- in whatever way that I could.

All I can say is this; take the chance and reach out, introduce yourself to somebody new or invite everyone over for pizza and wine to watch the game when the guys play out of town.  You don't have to become "besties", but the truth is that we can all use someone to do football season with and being a mean girl is so last year.

20 Things I would tell my 20-Year-Old Self

 “A voice for NFL wives, fiancees and girlfriends while connecting, inspiring, and empowering our audience. We desire to influence our community by changing the conversation.”  It’s refreshing to come across a mission statement like this in a world where people seem to connect more readily over superficial things and values.  LeShonda Martin created WAGS Redefined with the intent for it to be everything that her mission encompasses.  I feel like it’s only appropriate for my first blog post to thank LeShonda for creating a faith-based community for women to connect and also to share a real life example of a connection I made as a result of her efforts. I recently met @CieraLiguori through @NFLWags when we realized we were both in the LA area.  We met for coffee in Santa Monica the other day and spent three hours chatting all things “real.”  Ciera is just beginning the journey through her 20’s while this gal over here is savoring the last year of it :-) It got me thinking about this past decade of my life and some of the things I have learned…and am still continuing to learn.

• I learned the phrase “Train your Eyes” recently…learn to look at challenges from a different perspective. Be grateful for the things that DON’T go your way…these are the moments you really grow and really get to know yourself.  
• Time is valuable.  Don’t waste it on trivial things. Be more selfish with your time and give it to those that truly matter.
• If you hate your job you need to find a new one. A career can take over your soul especially when you get comfortable with a paycheck.  Stop and make sure what you’re doing aligns with your God-given gifts & abilities.
• You’ll be OK…whatever you're going through, no matter how hard it is, in time you will be OK.
• Learn to love your body…flaws and all. Eliminate the word diet from your vocabulary. Everything in moderation and drink more water.
• Learn the art of taking power naps.
• Change is scary and uncomfortable. Just know that the first step is the hardest.
• Don’t gossip.        
• Be patient with your parents…they aren’t getting any younger.
• Travel every opportunity you get! And do things that scare you. Mine included riding in a helicopter, and zip lining.
• Volunteer…anything that makes you think outside of yourself.
• Read more!!! From blogs to books, make this part of your daily routine. (Currently reading: Purpose Driven Life)
• There’s strength in vulnerability…there’s also a fine line between vulnerable and victim.
• Spend time alone everyday.
• BE KIND.